Art Basel Diary: Sunday

• Surprisingly I sleep well without drugs. I awake up proud.
• Remember weird dream of a dinner party where a certain boy mentions a girl in morocco who he is flying over to see every weekend. My heart sinks. This dream does not represent real life what so ever, but I still get caught up in the melodrama of my dreams
• Eat a banana & shower
• We head to News Café. Eat strawberries, banana & pineapple. I joke that Gianni Versace’s ghost is sitting at our table in the empty seat – but no one gets my joke. I think I am funny.
• Head to NADA
• Fall in love with Nina Canell at Mother’s Tankstation. Shall I buy the sculpture??…uummm…..
• Walk up to Pulse
• Say hello to Anne Barrault’s assistant Félicia. I’m impressed she remembers me from Paris. They are showing some amazing Catharina Van Eetvelde works.
• Two galleries practically opposite each other are showing Michael Scoggins.
• Cookie person walks past & I take some chocolate chip cookies
• Freight & Volume guy is very pushy
• Run into another Peter who has moved back to euro-land. His gallery is showing the most disgusting art I have seen in a long time.
• I tell a dealer their artist has works with LUMAS. They don’t believe me, but I know I am right
• Meet up with ND & head to the Cuban neighbourhood. Eat lots of plantains & paella. Taste the yummy coffee drink – it’s absolutely delicious, but I have no idea what it is called
• Head back to apt after a scenic drive through an island with ugly nuevo-rich eeekkk houses
• Finish packing & head to airport
• PT is obsessed with the lounge. I think it’s stupid to go as the plane is already boarding
• Sitting on plane now writing this
• My feet hurt from too much walking & wearing high heels at night
• My tummy hurts from the weird Cuban coffee
• Now I remember the cigarette girls at the shore club, how i almost fell in the pool, tommy hilfiger looking like a relative of j crew with his catcher’s mit face. Maybe he has the OMG STD?
• I am exhausted and I can’t rest as there is a guy with Tourette's syndrome sitting 2 rows in front and he is making weird noises like a yelping dog.
• Just stood up & danced on the plane while listening to the ‘I am a disco…you are a disco’ song. Got weird looks. Plane dancing rocks. Disco 82 baby!

Art Basel Diary: Saturday

• Eat pear & 2 yoghurts
• We then head to some random café for the boys to eat breakfast
• Go to Art Basel
• PT has a fit and refuses to pay $30 entry. ND & I are really confused and don’t quite understand what his problem is
• ND & I go inside & leave PT at the cigar bar
• We start by doing the Art Nova circle
• Major Basel trends: neon lights (so over that), slow motion popcorn, fake convenience stores with empty packages, animal headed people usually having sex, chocolate santas with butt plugs (Paul McCarthy of course..)
• Find Galerie Kamel Mennour. Christine Rebet’s work is excellent & I get very excited. Say hello to Marie-Sophie. Turns out Christine is there & I meet her. Yah! She talks us through her latest work and we talk about organising a visit to her studio.
• Visit the ‘major’ galleries. Gagosian disappoints showing humdrum works as are many other galleries
• Do Super Nova section last. Say hello to Spencer who turns out to be showing some amazing artists. Feel bad as I was supposed to bring him a snack and I forgot to
• Meet back up with PT who is back in the pool at the Raleigh. We sit there for a bit and see a blimp go past.
• Grab middle eastern quick bite
• I leave the boys and head to Art Positions. Introduce myself to Sarah Gavlak and talk about Anthony James
• Visit the ‘Silent Sound’ listening chamber last. Perfect way to end an intense day of art hunting
• Walk back to the apt along the beach with my feet in the water. It’s cooler now & I feel completely at peace with the world. Random people on the beach start talking to me – I think they recognize a shared clearness
• Get back to ND’s place & pass out on the bed
• Somehow muster energy to go out for dinner
• At dinner we have a heated debate about authenticity in art, uniqueness, plato’s cave. Then I start talking about Lacan’s schizophrenia just because I am obsessed with it.
• Head to some club close by. They are playing a mix of Chris Isaak’s Wicked Game dubbed with something else.
• There is a horse hanging from the ceiling
• Sam sends a msg to meet at boom boom room

Art Basel Diary: Friday

• Up at 6.30am to rush to airport. Feel like shit as I only had 2 hours of sleep
• Never fly AA again (2 hour delay)
• Worst cabbie ever. Today is just not going well…
• Rush over to Aqua. The set up is great and there are a few good galleries showing here.
• Starving at 4.30pm as I have not eaten anything since breakfast. I always expect my first meal in a new city to be bad and this was definitely the case. I eat the worst octopus salad ever at a shitty noodle shop.
• Go back to ND’s place. We head to dinner & I have some pizza with ricotta. Feel a little bit more energized but only in a fleeting carb-induced way.
• I feel extremely exhausted & realize the only way to keep me going is to start drinking alcohol.
• Get dressed up for the Vanity Fair/MoMA party at the Shore Club
• Find Sam immediately before I even walk in. This is very convenient.
• Start drinking elderflower cocktails. Yum. Tastes lychee-ish on first sip
• I feel fabulous
• Sam & I visit the photo booth
• Meet heaps of great people and run into old friends
• Look up at the 3 porthole windows of the hotel. I love circles.
• Feeling rather drunk after too many elderflower drinks
• Consider taking off dress and jumping in the pool
• Suddenly think I am in LA at a party that is caught somewhere between Less Than Zero & Lost Highway
• Release helium balloons into the sky
• Hear that Fabienne Delsol song I like (Laisse Tomber Les Filles) and no one else seems to know it
• We make plans for the next stop
• Head to Raleigh Hotel. I am happy the walk there only takes a couple of minutes
• Get very comfortable
• PT & ND arrive
• Sleep dancing is born
• PT goes in the pool in his boxers. Everyone thinks he is naked as his undies are skin coloured. He is the only one in the pool and it’s quite the spectacle.
• Raleigh is super cool – great vibe & ambience tonight. Everyone is speaking euro
• Some girl with glasses on warns me about SB & feels the need to tell me he is bad in bed. I think this is an inappropriate/odd thing to tell me.
• Sam is so wasted her eyes can’t stay open. Then she starts rubbing her hands on PT’s soaked body.
• Spencer won’t let me leave but I leave anyway
• I can’t sleep as PT is snoring and I’m paranoid the dog will attack me during the night
• 1.5 valiums later I get about 2-3 hours rest