Saturday, February 04, 2006

In the mood for fear and suspicion?

The most recent cultural shift has been a return back to the hysteria & paranoia of the mid 50s. What are we all so worried about? Who cares! Spying has become super cool whether it’s to bring down the government, piss off people you just don’t like or to cause havoc in the workplace. The Cold War is back, as is Julius and Ethel Rosenberg. Spies are now everywhere & you probably haven’t noticed this yet, but someone is probably watching you right now….

We just happened to find a spy in the shower reading the Financial Times & did a quick Q&A:
The Peelers: Why do you think espionage is on the rise?
Agent IMBPWAM: I know but I’m not allowed to tell.

TP: What made you want to become a spy?
IMBPWAM: I’d say it was the first time I watched ‘Blue Velvet’. I think it was Jeffrey’s nifty camera set up in his car as he hunts for the truth about Frank Booth, or how he learns to hide in the closest in Dorothy’s apartment – Jeffrey’s character made me realize that spying can be rather exhilarating. He did get himself in some bad situations, but these are the sorts of learning experiences you must go through to master your craft. Wouldn’t you do the same if you found someone’s chopped off ear?

TP: What does every spy need on them at all times?
IMBPWAM: Holga Micro 110 & a trench coat

TP: How do you disguise yourself on secret missions?
IMBPWAM: I go unseen by dressing up as fruit. Most often a banana – this has worked well for me for sometime. This summer I’m thinking apples or cherries though. I also spray myself to smell like fruit with Eau d'Orange Verte by Hermes

TP: How do you tell if a spy might be in close proximity?
IMBPWAM: If there is ever an elephant in sight, there is a good chance a spy is close by – they are two things that always go together.

TP: Where do you go to meet and hang out with other spies?
IMBPWAM: We have luxurious hideaway spots all over the world. All spies attend a monthly bingo game at any of these locations– it’s lots of fun & if you don’t show up it’s frowned upon. At the last one I went to they served an artichoke and squid risotto – it was a very erotic dish.

If you have any questions for Agent IMBPWAM regarding life as a spy please post them & she will respond

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

If I bring my micro Holga and my trench coat - can I be a spy too?

Anonymous said...

Rookie Agent CCLomo - your initiation will commence at 7.30pm on 24th March. I will advise you of the details closer to the time.
You may be required to fly trans-atlantic on very short notice.

over & out,
Agent IMBPWAM

Anonymous said...

What does IMBPWAM stand for?

Anonymous said...

Secret Agents are always named after their greatest weakness. In my case, the acronym refers to the meeting of another secret agent who broke my heart.

Anonymous said...

What spy operation are you currently working on?

Anonymous said...

The secret agent who broke your heart must be an ass

Anonymous said...

Agent Anonymous accepts! - and will await further instructions...

Anonymous said...

My current assignment requires me to infiltrate an evil multinational corporation. I've been on this mission for about 5 months now.

Anonymous said...

IMBPWAM stands for:

I Make Big Pizza With Amazing Marscapone

When amazing marscapone is not available it is made with squid which makes it both big and very erotic pizza

Anonymous said...

IMBPWAM = I met big pirates when at macro